Simple principles can help bring us together at the table

At Come to the Table, we focus on five foundational principles that can help bring families together at the table.  

1. Begin where you are 

As you think about how and when you want to gather at your family table, it is good to start with what you do now and then set up reasonable goals. Do you want to aim for dinner together every night? Every weeknight? Just once a week? Or maybe just a Sunday dinner or Saturday brunch once a month? The important thing is to take the next step together. 

2. Connect with one another 

A second ideal to keep in mind is truly connecting with one another: talking time to check in with one another, to talk and to listen. What can you do to be more fully present at the table? (We have some suggestions here.) Or are there habits that would facilitate connection? Maybe you could invite each person to share one thing–good? Bad? Surprising?–from their day or to bring prayer petitions that can be added to your table blessing. You can find some conversation starters here. It’s impossible to force connection at the table, but we can look for ways to pause, to slow down, and to defer hard conversations or conflict to another time. Building the love between family members gently, over the years, is worth it! 

3. Connect with the Lord 

In one sense, the Lord is our host for every meal: the One who has provided everything. In another sense, the Lord is a guest whom we welcome. What habits could help you to honor His presence at your table? Perhaps you could begin meals by lighting a candle before saying a blessing? Or perhaps you could incorporate celebration of feast days and seasons of the Church year? (You will find lots of resources for that on this website.)  

4. Work together 

The family table works best when everyone pitches in to help. If one person cooks, another can do dishes. Even young children can set the table or fill water glasses. Finding ways to work together is a crucial part of the richness of the family table.  

5. Build from there 

As your table becomes an increasingly fruitful, established habit, you can build from there. As children grow older, they may want to assist with cooking. Perhaps your table will become a place where you can include short readings connected to faith. As Christians, we are always called to invite others in! Whom could you include at your table? Sundays could become a special day on which your family always welcomes others.  

What are the next steps for you and your family?